So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
