I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
