is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
