he shaved USA in his pubs
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
