He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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