his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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