my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
