the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
