apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
