Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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