i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
