You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
