Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my sisters under your porch take her home
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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