...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
