I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
