She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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