Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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