I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
