Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
