i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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