So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
