Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I just put wine in my tea
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