she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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