I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
