im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
