Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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