you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
