Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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