i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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