i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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