you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You pole danced in your parka.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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