erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
