You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
