Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Who died my cat blue again?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
