quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
