I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
