I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
