If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
