Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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