i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Your cock deserves a montage
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
