i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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