If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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