haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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