is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
