At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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