Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
