so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
