i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
