Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's shark week go big or go home
false alarm, still single
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
