ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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